You feel you lost your cat’s trust, or maybe you adopted a cat that has general fear and distrust of all people in general. If you want to fix this, you will have to be patient and understanding. Your cat is wild at heart and instinctively is not a pack animal. They are not like dogs who will forgive you over and over for the same action. They harbor fear and resentment well. Here are some simple ways to earn back your cat’s trust, or earn it for the first time!

How a Cat's Trust Works

Cats can have their trust broken enough to not be able to trust anyone. This tends to happen after years of abuse but it can only take one scary action by you to make your cat rethink your bond. Something as simple as using a leash the wrong way on your cat can change them. Even if you accidentally drop an object near them, it can trigger fear. While most adult cats will place blame and fear on the object, some will put that on you. Kittens tend to do this more than adults, especially if a bond has not been established. The truth is, you don’t need to abuse your cat on purpose to have them lose your trust. When you think of us humans, all’s it takes is one wrong action by another human and we are done. Cats are not so different after all.

Food Is Common Ground

Cats love food, not only when they are hungry either! They will eat all times of the day and enjoy treats as well. What you want to do is place their food or treats close by where you will spend most of your time in the home. If you work at home in an office room, put it in there. Don’t acknowledge them when they are eating. Carry on doing what you do! They may stop eating or even run if you move to quickly so be careful. Once they are comfortable eating and you are able to move around freely without them running or acting scared, place treats close by to you. This may take a number of times but eventually, the cat will come to you and eat the treats. Again, don’t startle it or move suddenly. Don’t even pet it. Allow it to do its own thing.

Feeding a cat
Food is a good way to earn trust

Bond Like a Tree

If you notice the cat walking around looking at you, maybe coming close then running, try being a tree. You can sit, stand, or lay down, but don’t move. Allow the cat to come to you, smell you, breath you in and see you will not harm them. If you lay down, close your eyes and allow them to move freely around you. They will see your eyes are closed and may even walk on you to get a closer look!

Avoid Scary Objects

Most cats do not like vacuums, large objects, cars, long thick sticks, things that make a loud noise, or water. Knowing this, do not vacuum in the same room as your cat. If they are in the bedroom, close the door, then clean. This will give them a sense of security. Be mindful when using brooms and mops as well. They may be quiet but to a scared cat, they are intimidating. Loud noises are a given! They have super sensitive hearing so always keep this in mind. Also, avoid raising your voice when your kitty is nearby. Toys may come into play when you know your interaction with them aren’t frightening.

Let Them Do the Work

You may want to pick your cat up, cuddle it, pet it and so on but if the cat lacks trust with you, this will cause a problem. What you want to do is be patient. Allow the cat to come close to you and put your hand out. If they come into your hand for a pet, then go for it. They may only sniff your hand and walk away. That is fine! Keep at it. Cats who have broken trust with a human often see hands as a threat so this will take some time. Some cats will take right away, others won’t.

Don’t Back Them into Tight Places

Ever hear the phrase “Never corner a cat”? That is because they become heated and defensive. They will bite, hiss, scratch, anything they can to get out of the corner and to a safer place.

If your cat is hiding, don’t peak under the bed and reach for them. Allow them to hide. They will come out when they are ready.

Cats don't like being cornered

Leave Behind Your Scent

When you leave the house, be sure something that smells like you is left where your cat mostly sleeps/eats. So say you slept in a shirt, take that shirt off and place it close to the food dishes or near their hiding area. This way, when you go, your scent will still be nearby. There will be no threat but the smell will be present which will create a safe zone with your smell. I know this sounds strange, but trust me, there are a lot of things cats perceive through scent alone.

Are you have trouble gaining a cat's trust? Share any questions or concerns in the comments!

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Sydney Eckerman
Sydney Eckerman

My cat Destiny only came 2 days ago, she doesn’t trust anything or anyone, I’m hoping she will calm down soon.


I’m fostering my first cat, and she fears me. She’s trusting more ((i can tell by her pupil dilations)) but she won’t leave her box. ((She has to stay in a crate cuz fudging adults and Carla is scaring her worse))

Línxī Belliveau
Línxī Belliveau

My lady Maxine who absolutely adored me now hates me for bringing her to the vet once for a minor visit. It is so heartbreaking. I am trying these and really hope they work because right now I feel almost like how Ive have felt after break-ups 🙁

Jay W
Jay W

Great post!